My name is Felix Fazil. I started going into therapy. My therapist told me to start a diary, and i always wanted to get into site making. So this is my site.
I wanted to write everything out that i've felt in the past 3 months. my brother was a great person and the smartest person i knew before my dad. after my dad "left" as i was told at the age 5 he took care of me. he was the best brother i could ever ask for. he had a girlfriend. she was a really nice person and i always liked hearing stories about her. i havent heard from her ever since dave ever. ever since. it happened. i hope she had took it better than i did. i couldnt. i. i wish dave was back. i should stop remmebering. its making me feel worse. i. ill continue another day. Goodbye.
2018.04.09 12:07 AM
This is the second day of my diary.
I haven't showered once since i've fallen into depression, and i only today started. It hurt alot. Water was pouring into my scars and it hurt a lot. I had to "toughen up" and take it in. It didn't feel good. I threw out almost all sharp objects since i get impulsive thoughts. I wouldn't say i'm "healing" right away but, i do feel a lot better and got things off my chest. Thanks Ms. Grace. You help me a lot.
2018.04.10 2:23 PM
Third day.
I slept throughout the whole day and missed my appointment. Everything feels bad.
UPD: Friends came over and we played a game we haven't played since i couldn't get out of bed. It cheered me up a bit.
2018.04.11 8:32 PM
Fourth day
I had to wake up early to make up for the missed appointment yesterday. I told things in more detail and i feel like it really helped me. I still can't say that i'm healing, i still get nightmares. Maybe i'll tell about it. I. I don't know. Is it watching me?
2018.04.12 9:27 AM
Fifth day
I couldnt tell about It.
2018.04.13 6:52 PM
Sixth day
It. It's. It's still There Isn't It?
2018.04.14 6:52 PM
Seventh day
I see it. It's. Right outside of my window. I. I need to tell about it to her. To Them. To anybody.
2018.04.15 6:52 PM
Eighth (?) day
Sorry that i disappeared for a long time. I felt really horribly and something happened to me? I guess from these, i saw something? Someone? Not sure, i.. don't really remember now. I guess i could say i'm healing now. Have i ever told that one story where we were playing Pie Face and Jason somehow lost almost every time? Sean hasn't though. Really incredible.
2018.05.02 1:15 PM
Ninth day
I've started making robots again (?). I've never really made robots, but i was always interested in them i guess. I'm interested in a lot of things, actually.. What else do i like.. Biology, geometry.. history.., no, that's Sean's thing... Algebra! Hm... That could be a good method of calming myself down, doing equations. I should try that with the next panic attack i have..
2018.05.03 2:52 PM
Tenth day
It has (technically) been ten days since i've started this diary. I've started making robots again (?). I've never really made robots, but i was always interested in them i guess. I'm interested in a lot of things, actually.. What else do i like.. Biology, geometry.. history.., no, that's Sean's thing... Algebra! Hm... That could be a good method of calming myself down, doing equations. I should try that with the next panic attack i have..
2018.05.04 1:34 PM
Eleventh day
I've cleaned up my house. It looks nice. I've realised i've basically never seen the basement. I look there and there's.. another diary? I'm not sure whose it is. It's not signed, the handwriting isn't anything i know.. And it seems it's been here around.. 17-ish years? Diary-to-diary, i'll tell you more about it later. I've only started reading it.
2018.05.05 5:22 PM
Twelfth day (it's spelled twelfth!)
Egads! (sorry couldnt hold myself in. I need a way to cheer myself up after months of sadness.) Apparently the writer of this diary is also a scientst... and apparently, he had experiments. Some of his more recent ones are numbered "68" and "80"... Atleast, he focused on them a lot on the diary. Interesting, i have to show this to my friends...
2018.05.06 8:00 AM
Thirteenth day (again ?)
Sorry for disappearing, i was very interested in the book and started exploring the basement more. I found some pictures. There's a picture of my father (rest his soul) and.. an unknown man similar-looking to my father? I don't know who is this...
UPD: I just checked the back, apparently it's my grandfather.
P.S: Oh hey, it's also the 2-month anniversary since i started this diary.
2018.06.09 3:15 PM
Fourteenth day
It's been 2 months since i started therapy and i can truly say i'm healing. My scars are finally closing and i can shower peacefully (not really i still feel really painful) and i've been hanging out with my friends a lot. Apparently, Jason got a girlfriend. I'm happy for him! (He's the first in our group to have a girlfriend, but it's fair since me and Sean are nerds and Jack is just.. not really into anyone.).
2018.06.10 10:52 AM